dating in china

Dating in China

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Dating in China

Dating in China is perhaps a bit different compared to what you might be used to, this is due to differences in culture and social cues. While in America, Australia, Britain and the rest of Europe, it would be okay to be single at 50, being single at 30 is considered an embarrassment and a disaster. Chinese are known for dating primarily individuals who share their culture, but they are slowly breaking out of it because of globalisation and increased travel.

 

Let us look at a few things to expect in Chinas dating scene:

Dating is pragmatic

From the outside, dating in China may come across almost businesslike. In China, people date to look for marriage partners. The fun and affection that people enjoy during courtship may in some cases be lacking because the people involved looking forward to settling down as opposed to having a romantic relationship.

Parental involvement

Finding a partner is serious business in China. Parents and grandparents alike are much more involved in their children’s relationships. They can approve or disapprove of their child’s partner. If a child takes longer than expected to settle down, they set them up on blind dates with children of their friends or acquaintances. If it gets to desperate levels, they join other parents in the marriage market. It is a literal market where parents carry placards with the trait of their children written on them. If another parent sees what they would like for their son or daughter, they organise a date for the children, and within a few months, a wedding is held.

 

Read our blog on Weddings in China here!

 

Cultural practices

There are many cultural ties attached to dating in China. Ladies are expected to get married at the age of 25 years. Men, on the other hand, must meet some fiscal requirements for them to be considered fit for marriage. A man should show his ability to support a family by owning a house, a car and having a stable job. Since the male population in China is way higher than the female population, ladies tend to be a bit fussy about the kind of men they would like to date and settle down with.

Speed dating and dating apps

There is rampant use of speed dating and dating apps in China. Speed dating is mainly facilitated by organisations in an effort to let a person meet as many people as they can within a short time before they settle on the best match. Dating apps and matchmaking sites are mainly available on WeChat, Chinas most popular social media site. On these sites, people will fill in all the relevant information about them, including assets. This information is what potential partners use to gauge whether an individual is fit for them. Some of the popular sites include MarryU, Zhenai.com, Jiayuan, Baihe and Anhui. It is, however, not uncommon to experience frauds on these sites. Users are advised to practice caution as they use these sites.

There are television shows like ‘If You Are The One’ where people searching for partners are invited. On the show, the individuals showcase their traits as well as the traits of their preferred partners. The best match carries the day and may continue dating if they are compatible with each other.

Sometimes companies organise hook up parties for their single employees. Parties and get-together functions for singles are arranged to give singles a chance to interact with each other as they search for their best match.

 

Dating etiquette

In China, basic dating rules are observed. While we may think that they may not be necessary, the Chinese observe them. For instance, affection is taken seriously. If you said “I love you”, the other party takes it to heart. Frequent communication such as several calls and multiple texts while away from each other is very much in order.

Decision making is entirely left to the man. A man makes all the decisions in that relationship; the woman follows. A man must praise the woman, and remind her of her positive traits. Also, it is the men who are expected to start conversations and get them flowing.

It is not considered awkward when the partners bring their friends on a date.

Finally, the Chinese introduce their partners to their parents when they are sure that the relationship is headed for marriage. Unlike back home where you can introduce casual friends to parents, it is entirely different in China.  Introducing a partner to you parents shows a significant level of seriousness in that relationship. 

 

Intimacy

More often than not, relationships in China are expected to end in marriage. If a couple gets intimate while dating, the assumption is made that they will marry.

However, in today’s world, casual sex relationships have become more common. It is not any different in China. When two consenting adults come together, they choose the kind of relationship they want; a casual sex relationship or a relationship that will end in marriage.

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